Execution in the Kingdom of Nouns
They've a temper, some of them—particularly verbs: they're the proudest—adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs—however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That's what I say! — Humpty Dumpty Hello, world! Today we're going to hear the story of Evil King Java and his quest for worldwide verb stamp-outage. 1 Caution : This story does not have a happy ending. It is neither a story for the faint of heart nor for the critical of mouth. If you're easily offended, or prone to being a disagreeable knave in blog comments, please stop reading now. Before we begin the story, let's get some conceptual gunk out of the way. The Garbage Overfloweth All Java people love "use cases", so let's begin with a use case: namely, taking out the garbage. As in, "Johnny, take out that garbage! It's overflowing!" If you're a normal, everyday, garden-variety, English-speaking person, and you're asked to describe t