usa job typing

I haven't been blogging much this summer. Mostly it's because all my free time has been spent engaged in an important research project called "What Would Niko Bellic Do?" I've been enrolled in a high-quality Management Scenario Simulator with the unconventional name "Grand Theft Auto IV", probably some sort of inside joke, and I've been going through all its Developer Management training courses. You know how these corporate training videos go, right? They set up some contrived scenario with actors you're supposed to identify with, and the actors have inane discussions about sexual harrassment or bribing government officials or stealing company equipment, and then you're asked to answer questions about whether it was OK for Bob to grab Sue's ass in that particular edge-case scenario. Seriously, I just took one of these courses at work. You'd think they're a joke, but no, they're considered Important Employee Training. Well

  "And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type" — Mr. Pink This is another one I've wanted to write forever. Man, I've tried a bunch of times. No ruck. Not Rucky. Once again I'm stuck feeling so strongly about something that I'm tripping over myself trying to get my point across. So! Only one thing left to try: bust open a bottle of wine and see if that gets the ol' creative juices flowing all over my keyboard. Rather than top-down, which is boring, let's go bottoms-up. Once upon a time... ...in, uh, let's see... it was about 1982. Yeah. A looooong time ago. This is practically a fairy tale. Once upon a time in '82, there was this completely hypothetical fictitious made-up dorky 12-year-old kid named Yeev Staigey, who was enduring his sophomore year at Paradise High School in Paradise, California. Yeev had skipped 3rd, 7th and 8th grades and entered high school at age 11, in a heroic and la